Well here’s a story all about how…

“Is he wearing a freaking KILT?”

Hello my freaky darlings! It is within my greatest pleasures to provide you with an all- in- depth- painfully- accurate -detailed account of EVERYTHING that happened during Mine and Brittney’s trip to Lake Tahoe (and others) for her birthday to see the band 30 Seconds to Mars! You can thank me later (:

they dress so well! >;

Well, to being we had a bit of trouble starting off with this whole debacle. Last minute our transportation to the airport gave us some hogwash, some absurdity, some poppycock, and a dash of rubbish about the safety of traveling cross country. Because apparently we aren’t aware that its dangerous, but lets get serious here people. Nowadays are we really safe? Going to the mailbox? Walking Sparky around the neighborhood? Dropping off the little ones to soccer? Take some time and allow that to saturate…. So, finally after we exhausted our resources, and killed our cell phone batteries twice over (I’m so sorry, Percy) the wonderful and sweetest Cancer E V E R, Chase, decided to take time away from his life and his schedule and put up with our… different ways of approaching life, and drive us 3 hours to Nashville, TN. Home of BBQ and bad grammar. Being a menace to society and all (for fear that it would be extremely awkward), I chose the backseat. That and I don’t think Brittney’s 3 feet of leg would have done well in my position. However, it was pretty darn fun. We discovered our fetishes, I have a thing for truckers and mailmen, and pizza delivery guys, and book keepers, and morticians….. im kidding Brittney likes mannequins (ok, i may have improvised a bit there), and out of respect for Chase I think its best that his remains in this beautiful and oddly shaped triangle. I went on my astrology kick- natal charts and all of that. Discovered our inner animals (mine is a combination of a Pegasus and a sloth-thanks guys). We got some culture, some depth, some true meaning and feeling in music…(yeah, we listened to LMFAO) I found my flesh-peddler canticle. It was soft spoken, well versed, and it spoke like a psalm to my soul.

“I got my sippy sippy I’m feelin tippy tippy I got my b###### with me until we gettin dizzy we don’t stop till they turn on the lights, call the cops”

Brittney and her fear of birds of any sorts, my wanting a motorcycle. One that was visibly taller than my 5’2 stature. With a huge biker jacket and an ‘I Heart Mom’ tattoo. Both Chase and Brit would be forced to ride behind me, gripping tight as they could to make me look more macho. And every attractive person I passed I’d give a wide, gold toothed grin. So sexy. After a few creeper text messages to Brittney about bulges and other nonsensical musings, we blabbed on about the prospect of another Mars concert. This time with Chase in tow, and he seemed like he was down with that plan, which made our excitement jump that much more off the Rickter Scale. However, we were under the impression that there wouldve been one closer, perhaps LA. We couldve pulled for that, but once i did my research i was dissappointed to see NO more US dates . Coupled with the fact that this whole shindig was B’s birthday gift (and i dont have 1000 to shell out again dear ones) And then it was time to board. Let me first say that security absolutely hates me (It took me WAY too long to find my belt loops) and it is FAR to cold in those terminals. I mean, c’mon. The plane ride to LAX was a list of strange dreams, more cold, a bit of sly staring at the Nashvillians with their glam hair. Going back and forth from airplane mode because my phone wouldn’t update the time change. For the most part, in the words of Brit, ‘Nothing was poppin'”. Except intense jet-lag, of course. But I’m sure that’s a given. LAX was a quick one-two, which Brit and I found a bit saddening. Along with the fact that Gangstas Paradise kept playing in my head, LA really does strange things to you, I had really wanted to do something spontaneous and badass! And then it was another plane ride. More talk of how this show better meet our expectations, the chance of getting some sustenance in the near future after not having eaten a solid meal in close to 27 hours, and then the quiet silence that settles. And then there it was, the most breathtaking thing that I have seen in a long while…..

It’s an easy thing, I think, to go through life calloused, or pessimistic…. so many things in life are agnate, and nothing seems genuine and worthwhile. And then comes restlessness, and life begins to feel like a duty, rather than a gift. But something about flying over LA and seeing all of those lights. The stop signs and the cars sitting in long rows of traffic on either side. How lilliputian it was compared to looking down from the sky. And it hit me. The hugest and thickest epiphany boner that juices your thoughts so fervidly your left quaking in aftershock. This is how the divine must feel. Watching something that seems so large and unknown like the world become so small and comprehensive. Being able to see every corner and alleyway. To be able to watch every knee bend in prayer, every knife ever pulled with harmful intent, every child born, life passed. If everyone could see so much, to see every panel of the world, how greatly perceptions would change.

“To build a dream for me and you, they choose the path that no one goes. They hold no quarter”

And then as sudden as it came, we were landing into McCarran International in Las Vegas, Nevada.

And I was crossing my fingers that no one really sketch would yell “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?” Because I would be obligated to answer, “You wouldn’t have known if you weren’t staring, too” (And I was specifically told not to die on this trip) LAS was pretty, a lot of slot machines, which I am now banned from, a lot of bad dye jobs, some lions and tigers and bears, the usual. So, Brit and I got our baggage and trucked it to find food. However, by that time its 12 midnight and everything is closed. So it was Starbucks, warm caffine! beverages and cups that make you feel important with life as you walk. So, as I’m deciding my choice, a (really timid, I hate my usual 9-5 and 2000 Prius) man cuts in front of us, which we didn’t mind. You must have needed to make your flight, by all means. And he opens his mouth to bark very rudely at the poor barrista his order…… A skinny late….. Here I was expecting something like an espresso shot, maybe even a coffee with two creams, but a ‘skinny late’. I snickered. And twisted on my heels. We missed it in LA but apparently got in two fold in VEGAS! And then we were off to find somewhere to be airport bums for the night. Seeing as our next flight to Salt Lake was at 7:55 that morning we would have to have all of those little details done by 6 and ready to board there was no point in getting a hotel for a few hours. So we camped out with all of the other hippies. They smelled clean, though. And so did our suitcase since Brit’s lotion exploded. I got a good kick out of that. Thankfully one of the guys was sweet on me and gave me a cookie the size of my thigh.

I have yet to master the art of airport sleeping, (that and im just a naturally paranoid person) I decided to have a Beatles/ Thom Yorke/ Dani Deahl (BOOM THAT TRANSITION) montage while Brit slept,(I mean is it really safe anyways for us BOTH to be asleep?)

…..So, whats next? … OH, RIGHT!

Salt Lake was… well, apparently it wasn’t anything worth remembering seeing as I don’t and neither does Brittney (who’s a Virgo and pays painstakingly close attention to such things) And then we were off to Lake Tahoe. Land of the free and home of the Pleistoncene Lahontan Basin. The plane ride there was short, which was a blessing seeing as Brittney was loopy and I was delusional from jet-lag. (i swear i saw a fairy and an elf making out in Barnes and Noble) Perhaps two things happened that are worth mentioning.

1. Upon actually boarding the plane a lovely young couple that bore great resemblance to the cast of Jersey Shore stole our seats. So, we decided what they hell, lets just go and find a pair of empty seats. Only to have the rightful owners of said seats come over and get snappy.(calm that shit next time, seriously!)So we got our carry-ons and trucked it back to the front of the plane. And told the kids who were in our seats to please vacate. And they responded that they couldn’t because some really shady seeming character had taken there’s. Or had taken the end seat in a row of three instead of the middle seat in the opposite row by his lady lover. still with me? So, to our embarrassment the steward decided to butt in and snap on us instead. “Go and find a seat anywhere, were ready to take off” .. (“What the f- do you think we did the first time, lady?”)

Anyways, the entire time were being scolded the original seat thief is up and downing me and his woman is doing the same to Brittney, (which made me think they were swingers, and then get really entertained, although staring is completely redundant.) So the guy finally takes his assigned seat and Brit slumps in and I follow after, feeling really ridiculous. Which leads us to the last fail. 2. The last seat was taken later on by a really tired lady who seemed like she really wanted home, and she smelled like mint, which for some reason made me think of 70s shag carpets and Cher….

Anyways, this story always seems more entertaining when Brittney tells it.. So, were landing yeah?! And I’m like WHOOTWHOOT with this moment because everyone knows the most fun you have on the plane is when your taking off and landing, except if the landing is unexpected and abrupt and cuts you off mid sentence (and Brit and I may or may not have freaked out like pansies while no one else even stirred) and all you can do is grab the nice elderly woman leg beside you in panic …. I told you my life was comprised of fails. I feel bad now, of course looking back on it, the least I could have done was apologize. “I’m so sorry that I grabbed your unnaturally muscular leg ma’am, if its any consolation I like the way that you fold your napkin before you put your drink on it” But I was too shocked and red to even look in her direction. After that of course was more baggage, more jet-lag, and more of our stomachs eating themselves.

Taking a shuttle ride from Reno-Tahoe Intl to Lake Tahoe that seemed SO LONG (I swear I slept for like a day, woke up, took a trip on The Iliad and the Odyssey, made a quick cameo in Happy Days and still we weren’t there yet) Brittney told me a bit about the couple in front of us from Boston, she had taken a liking to their accents…. I don’t remember one. And then we got to MontBlue, checked it out for a bit, get a feel of the venue.

Brit silently freaking every time she saw some girls walking in with arrows or home made shirts with Jared Leto brooding like he understands our jet-lag. After we got a good feel subsequently ended up staying at a different hotel (never leave me in charge of booking… rooms fill up fast apparently. Who knew? (crap misleading commercials)) The Embassay Suites, which was a convienent half mile down the road.

So we checked in, found something to fill our deep void of three day hunger, and jumped up and down on our beds like maniacs…. It finally hit us. Were in Lake Tahoe… And Brit was about to see her first 30 Seconds to Mars concert, I was about to see my first concert period. So after making those dreaded, “Alive” text messages, we hopped in the shower. I decided to be daring, to be bold, to be devil may care and shower with the darkest shades I could find to get more… connected with the band. Its a lot harder to see your body than you may think. So, after I’ve done my makeup and Brit’s she decided to straighten her hair.

Having recently cut all of mine off and purchasing the cutest little red straightener EVER (I call him Lil Jon) Which took us a lot longer that what we had calculated, which made my impatience grow insane… so I had an 80s dance montauge to House music, so it was all good in the hood (: No rushing with life, right? Stand firm in your beliefs, yeah? The inside of MontBlue looked a lot different than before, and after getting a cute little green wristband that I flashed a lot, we were headed into the theatre.

At first our initial thoughts were to head to the pit, to fist pump our lives away until I get trampled on or get escorted out. But this security guard that I think looked like a 23 year old Jared Leto (Brittney says she doesn’t see it) and another woman stopped me, told me to put away my camera, no pictures, and that we were allowed in that area without a little buissness -card looking … card. So we walked away, defeated, and angry for my neck being naked of 16.0 megapixels. When we ran into a small blonde woman in her mid 40s, with pictures of Jared Leto dominating her phone and newly converted fan husband such as myself – minus the husband bit. So we stood by them a bit, as they asked us questions about being ‘Mars Virgins’ and if we were going to attend this “Beach After Party” .. we were indecisive. They were really nice for the most part, doting with compliments, telling us their stories, asking us our favorites. She then went on about how stupid it was that I wasn’t allowed to take pictures, which my response was, “EFFING RIGHT?” Her husband seemed to get a kick out of that. And all of the guys trying to bribe the security with money to get to the pit. And the girls who offered their uh… extended services. And then it happened. The biggest fail in my entire two decades and a half of living. It was too dim for me to see his clothing, but not dim enough to completely dissolve his face. Brittney tapped me, and asked if it were Braxton. I squinted. I refuse to wear glasses or contacts unless it’s absolutely necessary. “No, I really think that’s Braxton” … “Are you sure? That guy looked to Asian to be Braxton” Cut to the same outfit walking across stage and tons of screaming girls. “Oh…” Told you I fail. Needless to say I kept all other comments to myself for a while. Eyes constantly scanning the stage to catch a glimpse of Tomo’s locks, or Shannon’s man strut (i just want to steal borrow some pieces of his clothing, or have an intense 300-style drum battle… I have NO IDEA how that would work) even the tips of Jared’s hair… or in some small strain of hope that CB7 may decide to make a snap appearance? (My heart beats for Antoine Becks) And then it began…The lights dimmed, the crowd began to scream, i jumped up and down, mostly to get a better view everyone else thought i was just anxious.

“O Fortune, like the moon you are changeable, always waxing or waning; hateful life first oppresses and then soothes as fancy takes; poverty and power it melts them like ice”

I will admit, I did spend a bit too much time trying to figure out who chose Carl Orff as the beginning song, (thanks mom for only allowing classical music during the preface of my life) so much so I missed out on Shannon getting settled before his drumset, although the shreiking was enough to knock me back to reality…. And don’t get me started on the loss of hearing when Tomo and Jared came out… although after a while of getting used to the “OH MY GOSH MARRY ME” or my favorite, “JARED I WANT YOUR BABIES!… AND TOMO’S TOO!” I soon turned into one of the yelling baffoons. Loosing yourself in music is a lot of fun, who knew? (;

….. whats next? RIGHT!

All of this kind of happened in a blur. The security guard, the same one who I absentmindely called a douche lord, douche face, douche crumpet and other various forms of douche, (but only after he made me put away my camera! … now i feel bad) the security guard who Brittney concluded as racist for staring at me really creepy, comes over to me and shouts in my ear the number of people in my party. After telling him two he smiles all coy and tells me to come down and stand in the pit. (Pisces-Scorpio connection!)

My initial reaction is to jump over the ramp before he changes his mind. But instead I yell and push Brit down and around our ramp and into the pit. After thanking the young man, and giving a really sweet smile I squirm through the crowd to the front (yay for only 18 inches of leg!). The concert itself was a blur, I jumped, and screamed my head off (and may or may not have danced a bit more sensually than necessary to Night of the Hunter-but cmon, have you HEARD that drum and Tomo’s guitar?

Here I was not expecting my luck to get better and then my luck kicked in and Jared came over directly in our general direction. He smiled at me a bit strange, which Brittney concluded she would have passed off if he didn’t linger, pointed at her and then walked off doing his thing.. in his shiny tights.

And then Shannon waved, which I wont get happy over because that could have been directed to anyone in that general direction. Jared made a pretty funny reference to Michael Jackson. Tomo was on the far side of the stage, so I was a bit saddened I didn’t get to see him much. But I did however take a moment from fist pumping (please don’t tell Jared) to observe them…..So maybe that came out a bit creeper, but I find you do less damage to study and choose the right words according to each individual…. Like I’d ever get to talk to them! Tomo and Shannon fascinated the most. But I had to stop, I was getting looked at weird.

They played a few from ABL, the crowd going wild when they realized the songs, it was nice to see such devoted fans… It’s a good moment when you just close your eyes and you can feel the packed room of people, all of them singing and the melody moving you, beautiful moments… Jared didn’t make any perverted jokes which hurt Brit’s feelings a bit, after 5 years she was crossing her fingers for some red faced embarrassment. All in total they planned about 7 songs, 4 of which included the band in it’s entirety, we were sad…. Anyways, when Shannon was leaving stage some ladies undergarments were thrown at him. He made a strange face and walked off… I snickered. Jared was extremely nice with all of the fans, and the cute little girls he’d bring onstage, a real stand up kinda guy… And then it was over, it seemed like maybe an hour? And then my heart imploded. I got this random surge of adreniline, I’m taking it as a musical afterglow? All I wanted to do was to toss myself into it more and more.

“My legs were dead- I was so decrippled”

And then Brit and I had a stare off as to whether or not we would attend this Beach Party, or head over to this room 716? Yet somehow we ended up outside, as I took drag after drag of Basic’s. And then we saw a gathering of police officers near the entrance of the parking deck.(their excuse was they were all waiting on a phone call from their boss.. riight) And of course, I HAVE to be curious. So we take the smoking closer. While Brittney makes these insane hand movements to seem like were having the best animated chat ever. I laughed like a little kid. And then we got tired of standing and waiting and Brit got cold so we headed inside. And just as we were we saw Braxton Olita, adorable as ever in the crowded elevator, and then he stares at Brit and she stared at me and I ran and over and pressed the elevator button. And we ran in, along with two other mantinence guys as we had a conversation with them pretending to stay in the hotel. And then the doors open, and we realized we were in a parking deck. So we laughed like idiots. (Because I mean, laughter is the best remedy for stupidity right?) hehe .. he … oh man. ANYWAYS! We head back down to the outside of the ground floor, run into some of the Aussie Echelon, they were really nice, the Echelon. And they explained how they were camping out in hopes of running into the band. And then what do you know! Braxton comes out, looking pimp as hell in a jumble of gold chains. And Brit and I had a brief conversation of how bad of a pimp I would be. And that I would more than likely need her to manage my schedule, you know.. collection time. Who’s making me the most/least profit. (Which one needs a good visit from my backhand) As I waited patiently to have my picture taken with him.

It was a bit awkward. He said the word “sick” a lot. And he was clearly excited about the Hawaii show, his friends were there and they gave us a warm smile, Braxton seemed to have an eye for fashion -My demin jacket was neat. (And then B brought it to my attention Jared has a smiliar one. And then I got restless and I felt bad that he was being bombarded and his friends were waiting, it just seemed mean. Although I did have a fan girl moment.

He’s so pretty! Anyways, so I zoned out a bit, thanking the Universe for being able to give me something so amazing, it was a great first concert, it was a great birthday for Brit, and the vibes were just amazing! And then the crowd cleared until it was only me and two other really intimidating looking women talking. One of them, a really small brunette sitting on the railing invited me over. Which I gladly accepted, I love social interaction… although I tend to suck at it really bad. She and her friend began to tell me about their concert experience. Apparently this wasn’t their first. The fiesty brunette told me the story of how Jared called her out in the concert… I’m going to improvise here:
Jared: ‘nonnono, that girl right there! Your friends in a wheelchair and she’s jumping higher than you… (insert numerous inexplicatives and big words I don’t know the meaning to)’ And then we met a wonderful woman from LA by way of Russia, she was such a sweetie. We spoke with her for some time, she told us stories about how she’s met them, the way that they were. And some crazy crazies came over and asked to bum a cig, I didn’t mind obliging. Until the guy felt it was necessary to strike up a conversation. His girlfriend didn’t look to appreciative. His friend then asked my name. I told him Meghan. He just became more and more LA creeper. Next was my birthday, my sign, my age and where I was staying. And then it was, where are you from? I said Alabama. His reply was where is that? I tried not to laugh. And then we did a quick one-two in the casino and it was time for bed. Thank goodness my internal clock wakes at random times, Brittney’s alarm on her phone didn’t sound. However, I am an extremely loony person in the mornings…. It was like ..

And I’m saying all kinds of random things that make no sense and have no relevance with anything that’s happening. And we get back to the airport and are trying to figure out what bus were supposed to catch next, and that seemed to be enough to sober me up and get my brain working in overdrive. (I swear once you get me started I get overzealous) So we find where were supposed to board and I walk up to the bus driver, his face at first was really stern and I thought to myself usually that would make me discouraged, but sleep deprivation does wonders to your bs level. I asked him what bus would be best for us to take. And he realized we were pressed for cash and he took me to the bus schedule that had apparently been taken down. And he asked again when we needed to board our first Greyhound bus and I told him within the next hour. And he seemed to deliberate and he asked what band we came all this way to see. And when he heard 30 seconds to mars he smiled and said couldnt refuse to give us a ride since it was Mars. And I smiled really wide at him (something in doing that made me think of Sookie from TrueBlood .. she doesnt know my life, Brittney!) Anyways, during the ride he asked us if we had heard about some huge woodstook like concert they were having up on the indian reservation and I told him I had read about it during a wait for something and he told us about how one couple had given him free tickets and he had turned them in and got 400 dollars cash back, and I said that It would have been really nice to go. And made a small mental note of that for the next spur of the moment birthday trip. Maybe my own? Thankfully Brit kept the conversation going, I would feel really bad if he had went out of his way to do this for us and my brain didn’t want to work with my emotions here and It came across as ungreatful. Anyways he dropped us off about a mile and a half away so he wouldn’t get in trouble in case someone saw him, I was more than ok with that. After thanking him heavily we trudged along, bag in tow between us, chatting about how pretty and sleazy this part of town looked, the gothic church that looked really uncomfortable sitting in the middle of it all, how amazing the concert was and how were really bummed the rest of the dates are all in Europe and it may or may not be their last tour. And how time and life is short and this may have well been the first and the last 30 Seconds to Mars concert … that didnt sit well with either of us. And then there was the Station. Already there was a crowd of … eccentric people. One guy in specific caught my attention when I saw him licking a seal in his rolled paper, and then light it.

We all stood outside, hoods up, waiting for the doors to open and the light mist of rain to stop… especially me. I was having a really good hair day that day. And then the next thing I remember were sitting waiting on our bus to arrive, chatting with a couple who had the same itenerary as us. And then our wonderful Russian shows up. We have a short conversation with her as she invites me to Russia, Mars had just added a Belarus show. I gave a short pout, the prospect of travel, culture and more great music sounded amazing.

However my limited amount of resources and more text messages of “are you still alive” was keeping me from jumping up and down with a YES! We all gave our hugs and Brit and I settled into seats.

Now, the two days of Greyhound travel all seem like one long ride to me. There are a few things that stood out to us, mind you there’s a ton more. Brittney and her strange 30 Seconds to Mars dreams,

“Does Jared Leto know Tupac? I mean he is all about being cultured. I can see him being all, ‘I understand the African American community'”

me and my … needs… Random things we found funny, trying to sleep in the most uncomfortable of positions. Only eating a solid meal once throughout the entire trip, which seemed a lot longer and more extensive than just four days. Now, during this bus ride, we went from Reno, Salt Lake City, Denver, St. Louis and into Nashville. With stops in Battle Mount, Wendover (Nevada), Evanston, RS Little AM, Rock Springs, Laramie (Wyoming) Colby, Salina, Kansas City (Missouri) and a few others I will uploadlater once I remember.

So, onto the things worth mentioning on these rides. 1. The security guard in Denver that wouldnt allow me to take pictures,but I did anyways.However he had no trouble talking to a man who was relocating due to a failed marriage, about how HE was the one who kicked out his wife. And that women NEED to be put in their place. Now I’m not a card carrying feminist. I don’t paint signs and I don’t hand out fliers. But I came so close to Bruce Lee kicking that man in the jugular. 2. There was a man, who said he was 31 after making us guess his age, who just walked over to where we were standing as asked if we were sisters. He had been jumping from person to persons staring random conversations about anything, he was suffering from a mental disability. But he was so meek in his demeanor and tall it reminded me of a play I had once read called Of Mice and Men. Anyways He asked if Brittney and I were sisters and she said no. And he’s like NO WAY! He thought, since I was short, go figure, I was about 16 and Brittney was 23 or so, her age and I said no, we were the same age. She just had a birthday. And he continued to say its good to look young for your age, you’ll age nicely. And that I was really naturally pretty and he went on a makeup rant and its only truly warpaint. And that I was chill and only talked when I had something to say, and that quickly changed into my height. And that It was the short ones you had to watch out for. Which Brit and I had just had a conversation about short people and short tempers… It was a funny conversation. hehe.

Anyways, this guy proceeds to tells us pressure points but then says he shouldn’t because its the quiet short ones you need to watch out for and he kept touching me. And then him and Brit had a wrestling conversation while the onlookers gave us a sad stare, which made me slightly angry. Give the guy a chance! He just wanted someone to talk to. And of course I had to open MY big mouth…. By this time we board and he takes the seat in front of us. Brit pulls down her hood and starts to doze off while hes asking me if I knew where the phrase, “Tastes like chicken” came from? I answered no and he began to tell me the story of Jeffrey Dahmer. I listened patiently and pretended not to know anything – he seemed to get a real kick out of telling everything his police officer dad had taught him. And when he was exhausted with talking to me he slipped on his headphones and lost himself in some Seether. I smiled and dozed off. 3. On the way to Salt Lake City lets say there was a mother, I curse this for always seeing things that no one else does, ALWAYS. And this mother takes her 12, 13 year old minor on the bus and sits him by and elderly man who was clearly intoxicated and instructs the boy not to leave the seat until he gets to his stop and asks the man sitting beside to him to watch out for him. I stopped listening after that because Brit mentioned an astrology tweet she had gotten on her phone. So I’d say after a nap or two into the ride, our no nonsense driver started to yell keep for the hormonal group in the back to keep it PG, since there was a child on the bus. And I have decided not to repeat the really inappropriate comments that followed, needless to say they didn’t stop. Brittney and I exchanged tired glances and shook our heads. I turned the song to Something by The Beatles and tried to doze off again. But not in time for the bus driver to completely stop the bus. My eyes were moving around in a flurry trying to take everything at once. The bus driver working his way to the back of the bus, taking the man sitting by the unaccompanied minor with him, his words slurring and his Miller Light in another hand. It was bus policy alcohol was not allowed. And ESP in the presence of a minor. They disappeared outside and he later came in bickering about how it wasn’t his fault and he should be able to enjoy himself and that he was responsible for the kid and my mind vaguely heard Brittney commenting on something about kidnapping. But my head still shook in a disapproving manner altogether.

And then the little boy was moved to the front of the bus, crying as the rest of the rude passengers commented on the situation, which im sure only made the poor kid feel worse. And then we were stopped somewhere in Kansas City, pulled over in the parking lot of a gas station due to a tail light being blown. Although Brit and I both scanned that thing and nothing was wrong. So we waited there on the bus, in the cold, sipping hot beverages for two hours until our transport bus came and we carried on with the rest of our stops. 4. During our transport, the same couple from before with the shared itnerary decides to stop and tell Brittney while waiting in line for change of tickets due to that stop, about how her husband was an ex meth head. And that he was recently clean for a few years and that they were married for 24 months. Which you could tell. They still had that I cant stop touching you I just want to always stare into your eyes thing going. It made the hopeless romantic in me bubble over with joy. Meanwhile, while holding our place in line to board I struck up a conversation with a woman in the adjacent line boarding to LA. I started to tell her that I would love to vacation down there in December for my birthday and she said to come on down, LA would love to have me.

And we exchanged our bus horror stories. Her bus driver was apparently speeding and then refused a ticket from a cop, and resistance from two others. So she was forced to wait in the middle of nowhere until they could find another driver. Subsequently this caused her to have to catch another bus, that wouldn’t depart until 1 that afternoon, this was all maybe 3 am, and that would make her late for her job interview. And she stared me right in the face and said, “You know I don’t get the urges to do things like this often, but I like your style” And then she proceeded to tell me her life story. And the reason why she will never fly- her first plane ride was the day after 9-11, so you can imagine all of the things that she had to go through. How she lost her husband to an eighteen year old, he was in his fifties and going through a mid life crisis. (which i thought would be your post mid life crisis?) And she asked me my age and if I were with someone. I told her no, and she said good. Apparently I look the type to invest too much-that’s what hurts the most. That I was pretty and mysteriously sensual (freaky right) and to play with guys heads not with what’s in their pants. To never fall in love, which of course put a damper on my day… 5. This is five, right? Sure. Anyways, Chadwick. Whilst waiting in line, Brittney decides to be a creeper and tune into this guys conversation about the universe. (the Amish couple behind them did not look happy with this topic) Both their ideas were… broad. Very different from mine, but very interesting to hear. They way their minds worked was very brilliant. They way the conceptualized things. So Britt and I break into our, “I wonder what astrological sign he is” rant. Until she just flat out asks his birthday. He was a Taurus…. or was it a Capricorn? And he began to flirt with Brittney and ask her her name and then mine out of common courtesy. And then our majors. He really liked that Brit was Music Journalism major. He didn’t really care much about my Social Work and Philosophy. And he asked her what kind of music she listened to. And her top five bands and they talked about broadening her spectrum of genres. My mind went off into techniques to get rid of under eye puff. I had some serious marshmallow baggage happening. Britt would occasionally stare at me, waiting for me to chime in. Spiritual talk with random strangers is usually my thing.. except when you can barely recall what state your in or the last person you had a phone conversation with. When we board the bus Chadwick sits in front of us, and then asks to take a picture of the two most attractive and strange people hes met in a while… I looked really skeptical. (Yeah, I’ve seen the movie Taken) And this really ghetto couple beside him keeps looking me in the eyes, trying to gauge my reaction. And then he snaps the picture. And I hear her telling her boyfriend that she wanted to take a picture of us too, and I stare at her trying to comprehend the thought process of these people. Later on when getting on the bus the same lady shoved her trashbag full of purses at Brittney and told her to carry them off the bus. During the ride she kept smiling at me and leaning over our seat to take pictures of bridges in St. Louis. 6. More ghetto. Usually I can handle getting in touch with the hood, yo…. But there are also certain levels that reach the depths of ghetto that I am not black enough to cross my friends. There was a man a few seats behind us on his cell phone cursing out this chick with the wrath of Zeus. Using every name in the book, from what I could make out the woman was still in love with him and wanted child support for the two children he had sitting beside him. And he was sick of her and just wanted her to get off of his phone before it died. I made out a few “I’m not yo man, you don’t need to know what my paycheck is going to be” and then your occasional, “I don’t want you (insert name here) You ain’t no bad b****” and my favorite, “I didn’t like your taste anyways” (that was indeed said around children and listeners who kept giving him shady stares) I stared out of the window and reconsidered what lady in number 4 said about not falling in love. So upon arriving into Nashville we bought muffins bigger than our heads and did a quick recap of the trip. Or at least tried to. There were the goofiest security guards who kept checking everyone out, and i mean EVERYONE. Talking really loud about the way they were going to down their coffee once it arrived, their soccer mom wives who can’t make a decent meal (I took that jab to heart, cooking ain’t easy. Its like Pimpin. It requires time to build up said skills) and their attempt to teach the other how to dougie. When one of them saw my amused staring they all decided to put on a show. Hiding behind the vending machines and pretending to hit the others in areas that should not be hit on a man. I laughed to myself and said a silent “I feel bad for you, Tennessee”.

And then we were off, riding backseat with our friends. Completely wiped out. Tired. Trying to figure ways to return to normal life when being a gypsy tasted so good. And let me tell you, it is NOT easy. I still cant tame this nomadic beast inside… But until next trip… I leave you with my love and I hope you took enjoyment out of this. Any questions ask away (:

Be safe. Be free. Be open. Be love.

Love ALL,

Meghan <;3

you don’t know how sad that I wouldn’t see Shannon Leto again. Google him. I’m in love


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