I swear Sydney says the most random things to cheer me up. But in a strange way its funny to me.
Today I found out what it means not to put all your eggs in one basket. Not to make someone so special and meaningful and to stay faithful and real.
Because it’s always one sided. It’s always one person that ends up falling harder and faster and turning into Taylor Swift and ending up heartbroken.
And nothing hurts worse than out of nowhere someone you really cared about telling you that you were never anything. That you never meant anything.
And all I want to do is sail away to some deserted island away from people telling me ‘there’s more fish in the sea’ or that they say it coming. ‘He probably had more girls that just you’
Because If you saw the person I never thought could and would want to hurt me tell me that were nothing. I would’ve listened.
And what hurts the most I think is feeling like you aren’t good enough. That It always was a lie. Just a beautiful, beautiful lie.
So much is wrong. But that was the one thing that felt right.
I guess I was spot on when I said I was making it all up in my mind.
And this is why I have trust issues and never open up.
Becuase why give yourself to people who never had any intentions of staying?
The world we live in today… everyone’s only out and concerned for themselves. And I can’t dig it.
I feel like im suffocating. The more people I’m around the more I just want to get away.
But I can’t be bitter. I’m not. I’m just.. accustomed.
I hate it how with me one thing that goes wrong brings back a rush of emotions of everything else that’s screwed up.
But I guess that’s just how the story goes. Part of life, I guess.
It’s not the first time I was told Im nothing and it wont be the last.
So why aren’t I used to it yet?