‘Maids come around too much. Parents aint around enough. Too many joy rides in daddys jaguar.
Too many white lies and white lines. Supa rich kids with nothing but loose ends. Supa rich kids with nothing but fake friends. ‘
I without a doubt have the most confusing and awkwardly weird conversations with my friends. It makes me happy I get to fall deeper and deeper in love with these wonderful people in my life. I think all love and friendship is, is finding someone who is as weirdly compatible with you and falling in weirdness.
So I was on the phone with my sister and I literally started free styling to 2 Chainz ‘Crack’ and let me just say. Not trying to brag.
Nigga Im the shit!
I love running through the rain. Just putting on the volleyball spandex and listening to music. Just spinning in circles. Music is amazing. Love it.
My conversation today with Mallory as were sitting in Genghis blabbing about the torrential downpour outside. We brought up the wonder of chicken heads. Now this is a universal term and is not discriminatory against race or gender. Men can be just as much of a chicken head as women.
I do it for my city then I fly away. I can see tomorrow I’m so high today!
And it went something like this:
Mallory: Just remember five years down the road. When I bought yo food. I’ma call you like Nigga ima need you to bail me out of jail.
Me: Why were you in there?
Mallory: Two words. Ghetto Crack. *looks at phone* I’m so sick of chicken heads
Me: Who? Ooo, I know. Dude, screw a chicken head.
As were leaving the restaurant
Me: I feel like every girl thats a chicken head has a universal smell. Like its always something sugary. Don’t laugh, swurr it smells like brown sugar.
Mallory: Bitch you smell like a cookie
Lots of other laughter and bit of other things I wish I could disclose. But I’m keeping my ‘big blabbing’ mouth closed
And then my mom called me a pot head and told me I was on cheap drugs for making ratchet jokes. I think I’m funny. Guess not.
Woah, all these broken hearts on that pole
Man if pole dancing’s an art you know how many fuckin’ artists I know
Got some new bills in the mail
Got some big favours I owe
Got some good things ahead of me
When these bad bitches let go
Well, girl let’s go
Walk your broken heart through that door
Sit yo sexy ass on that couch
Wipe that lipstick off of your mouth
I take it slow
She in love with my crew
She said make enough so I can try some
I thought taking drugs jus’ ain’t you (be you)
Yeah girl, just be you
And I do this shit for my hometown
It been going down it ain’t new
That’s that north north, that up top
That OVO and that XO
Your girlfriend at our next show
But its all good, don’t stress though
First night fuck, never really planned it
Take a deep breath, no need to panic
Lips so French, ass so Spanish
You don’t really like attention, I don’t know if she gon manage out here
But she got me all up in my zone
Said she like the view I got in this place
Shit I did all of that on my own
I’m in love with The Weekend. Everyone PSA ANNOUNCEMENT. If you just want to be in your feelings for a while, just to get em out. Listen to The Weekend lyrics. BOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
And then Mary and I hung out for a bit and I decided to get a bottle of Jack light some candles and study the art of palm reading. If you look at your left hand the lines below your pinky are your marriage lines. I’ll post the link if your odd like me and like these things. You learn some interesting things.
I don’t get people. At all. I mean I try to empathize and see where other people are coming from. Which is usually their pride, ego, for women our own insecurities. Those things are a direct reflection of ourselves. If your with someone and only do something to get a certain response from them for your ego or your trust. That’s selfish. That does nothing respectful or sincere for that other person. That’s like saying What can I do to make this guy or girl do this for me?
Stop it people.
Don’t try and change your man/woman. Accept every parts, because they have to accept yours. Which trust me, we all come effed up nowadays. No one is perfect, no one says the sweet things all of the time. But don’t let someone walk all over you either.
Stop and think the next time did I just say this to get something from this person? Was this for my own selfish reasons or to actually better this person and make them happy?
Another thing. I can’t take it when people act stupidly. Let me correct this. If someone says something and you really dont get it, because you didnt understand the question, over thought it or its a cultural difference or regional difference you cant correlate. That’s understandable. But cmon people.
Intelligence is sexy as hell.
Maybe that’s just me?
I mean look, life is short. Yes it’s become so overused now it’s cleshay. But after a friends death after having horrible health. Guys it really is. The way I see it is, your going down the street and it’s dark and your on the way home. Theres a fair going on to the side of you. All bright lights of the ferris wheel and slightly annoying screams and just plain fun. Most of us are so destination driven. We’re so one track minded about filling the quotas and living in the red tape we don’t stop and enjoy the moments. Because they truly are precious. Don’t you want to be the person who stills pulls over. No matter how late or tired you are your not going to pass up this opportunity to have a good time. If more people would stop worrying about the destination and just had fun on the journey life would be so much more fulfilling. And I would rather say on my death bed I lived and not just existed.
So tonight I lived. Driving down the road with a friend in the rain and were talking about The Lord of the Rings because my nerd just gets a huge boner from that series. He starts going on a out what we were in past lives. Mal was a turtle in a field of pot plants.
clever girl And it got to me. And I’m a hard one to peg down in this life. I love change so I constantly transition. I’m free. Unfortunately innocent to a degree. And I’m stubborn. So I was a nymph. Seducing and enchanting men while dancing through the woods. And I literally looked at them like they were insane. And then they tell me I have to hear the soundtrack to Last of the Mohicans. I’ve never even read the book let alone see the movie. So I decided to live. I pulled over in the rain, while the car lights were on me let my hair down and danced to The Kiss. Befitting guys thank you.
But it felt good, the combination of being wild and free and high not gonna front. It was like I wasn’t in my body, like the sensation if cold raindrops on hot skin made me dance more. It was wonderful. And then I agreed to be a nymph. Tehe.
Interesting Wiki fact:
The ancient Greek belief in nymphs survived in many parts of the country into the early years of the twentieth century, when they were usually known as “nereids“. At that time, John Cuthbert Lawson wrote: “…there is probably no nook or hamlet in all Greece where the womenfolk at least do not scrupulously take precautions against the thefts and malice of the nereids, while many a man may still be found to recount in all good faith stories of their beauty, passion and caprice. Nor is it a matter of faith only; more than once I have been in villages where certain Nereids were known by sight to several persons (so at least they averred); and there was a wonderful agreement among the witnesses in the description of their appearance and dress.”
Nymphs tended to frequent areas distant from humans but could be encountered by lone travelers outside the village, where their music might be heard, and the traveler could spy on their dancing or bathing in a stream or pool, either during the noon heat or in the middle of the night. They might appear in a whirlwind. Such encounters could be dangerous, bringing dumbness, besotted infatuation, madness or stroke to the unfortunate human. When parents believed their child to be nereid-struck, they would pray to Saint Artemidos
And I can cross one thing off my bucket list. Dancing in the rain with someone I love . Me. Accepting everything you hate and love about yourself is hard. I’ve struggled with it all my life but I’m finally at a place where I can level up. And I choose to love me. This angel that dances in the rain. She’s beautiful and no one can love her more than me. And it made me smile like an idiot all the way home. Why do we try and hide the parts the desires of ourselves? Is it fear of rejection? Is it low self esteem? Are we afraid of letting go of being so critical and technical? Are we afraid we might like it when we do? Everyone is a Cain and an Able. No one is perfect or completely bad or good. It’s the way we choose to handle these conflicts in ourselves that make us. So your stubborn or chipper or mean or nice or whatever. It’s accepting you for you. And when you do that you start to accept less mediocre in your life. You truly have self value. And the good karma spreads and I’m sounding like a really creepy self help seminar.
Point is guys. Live. Enjoy your youth enjoy your freedom enjoy yourself.
If you feel like no one loves or accepts you even if your having a hard time. Know that I accept and love you. And I’m rooting for you! Your all so beautiful and precious and deserve the best.